10 Reasons I'm Not Sleeping

Alternatively titled "I'm Not Going to Be Getting Any, So How Can I Rationalize It in Order to Make Myself Feel Better?"
  1. No one is up at this ungodly hour, so I have all this peace and quiet to get some work done!
  2. I'm going to be woken 5 to 8 times a night by the baby anyway.
  3. At least this way, I won't be interrupted in my REM cycle.
  4. Maybe if I stay up all night, I can give the baby to someone to look after and grab an intensive--and, more importantly, uninterrupted--4 hour slumber session.
  5. Four to five hours of straight sleep?  Man, I'll be ready to run a (metaphorical) marathon!
  6. With coffee.
  7. And a mid-afternoon nap.
  8. I can legitimately tell people, "Hey, I was up early this morning," and they'll be none the wiser.
  9. My just-washed-sheets are still nice and crisp.
  10. I don't have to get dressed this morning.
Well, that tired me out!  I'm going to bed.


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