19/52 // Yarn Along

"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Afon:  At the end of a day in Llandudno for the Victorian Extravaganza, he is all smiles in front of the camera.  This stolen moment of poutiness shows another side of him that is all too familiar (and rather precious, when it's not 3 o'clock in the morning)!

I must have shattered my immune system eating Cornish pasties (sigh!!), Coca-cola, and clotted milk caramel at the Victorian Extravaganza because I was out of commission for Monday and Tuesday.  But today I am on the upward trend again and determined to eat more natural, wholesome food for at-risk thyroid diet (I know there's no scientific results for such a thing as adrenal fatigue, but the proof is in the pudding, so to speak).  I think what got me better for today was avoiding gluten all day yesterday, so I will avoid that as best I can.  Thank you for your love and prayers to get better!  Gosh, I'm sorry for talking about my health all the time, it must be terribly boring.  So let me make it up to you with some positive reflection: learning to live with an illness, especially an undiagonesed one, really makes the days in-between more precious, and gladdens my heart to be alive!  I am so thankful not to have to work right now, so all the little snatched moments can be given to Afon, whether it's just having him trail behind me holding onto my shirt while doing the laundry or being able to draw a picture for him.

Speaking of which, Mr. Afon got a stroller!  So Mama and Afon are going to attempt to go out walking for exercise like we did back in Florida.  It was always nice quality time for us, energized me for the rest of the day, and ordered us toward a better schedule.

I'm thinking about doing a summer retreat as well.  The Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Mary, whose church we attend, have a house of prayer for just such a thing.  Masha, Jenna, and I have been talking about refreshment and renewal and how that is different for everyone; how even the most family-oriented people (maybe especially them) need some solitary time, and that is not just a thing mothers need set aside especially for a certain day every year.  We plan on talking about our distaste of Mother's Day in the upcoming days, so come back later for that.

Meanwhile, the story is getting underway with some excellent critique and encouragement from M. and J., and I'm reading Donald Maas's Writing 21st Century Fiction.  The blanket has been finished for a few weeks now, and it came out lovely, with a white scalloped border.  Simple and sweet.  I'm starting on a new crochet project as soon as I get the wool!

Today

Feeling . . . physically burnt out from a week of the flu and then a seeming cold, which I suspect is my frivolous Easter eating catching up to me!

Seeing . . . the wind shake out the leaves and branches in the back garden.

Tasting . . . wok noodles stirred up in the frying pan with eggs and vegetable oil.  Too lazy and/or tired to peel garlic and chop onions.

Listening . . . to "Just Breathe" by Anna Nalick.  Jenna, this one's for you!

Reading . . . Writing 21st Century Fiction by Donald Maas.  Good and worth a read, but repetitive after having read Maas's Writing the Breakout Novel.  Still, it's good to drive the lesson home.

Working . . . on the prototype for a crochet collar.  I need to order some finer yarn to make it more like lace.

Grateful . . . that I can be a stay-at-home mom at last!

Hoping . . . for better health; to weed out the impurities in my diet and find some coconut oil and gluten-free foods around here; to exercise regularly; and a productive summer.

The Flower of the Imagination: a Case for Dragons

May 3, Feast of Sts. Phillip and James, apostles.

{Please note:  This is a Catholic-interest post, I'm afraid, but that doesn't mean non-Catholics can't chime in and/or enjoy.  Just keep in mind that I write from a heavily Catholic perspective and that a suggestion to dismiss moral value in the arts will be a bit irrelevant to the conversation!}

I've been troubled by a literary trend in the Catholic community that draws severe lines of categorization regarding moral archetypes.*  Harry Potter is the obvious example, an engaging albeit imperfect series with some beautiful moments reflecting Christian truth and values.  But the mere mention of the word "witch" cause some to banish it from their bookshelves forever, without even cracking open the cover.

There is more witchy to Harry Potter than the word, I'll grant, but what about other stories that rename symbols or use the imagery from another culture or civilization?  What about the well-loved A Wrinkle in Time, which merely uses the word "witch" tongue-in-cheek to stand-in for celestial beings, perhaps even angels?  What about the wizard Merlin who appears as a sage and a Christian in C.S. Lewis's That Hideous Strength, who is allowed to use the last bit of pre-Fallen Earth's command of nature to save the world and then to pass on?

In the same type of severity, dragons are dismissed as evil in all literature, and any treatment of a dragon as good is an inversion of truth.  As Catholics, we believe that what is not true comes from the Enemy--that is why he is called the Father of Lies.  But are all symbols so iron and non-negotiable?

In the east, dragons are wise and often benevolent, associated with luck and prosperity.  It's hard to say that this is an inversion, since the civilizations of Asia are far older than those of western Europe, except in the sense that they're symbols are opposite ours.  Which would only make sense, as we are on opposite sides of the globe.

But, people argue, in the Bible the serpent is cursed by God, and should always be associated with evil. Well then, say I, what about Moses's use of the snake on the staff--not even a real snake, but a seeming idol!--to heal and perform miracles?  With this task he was charged by God Himself.  It seems that even in the same cultures, sometimes symbols can be inverted.

There's a similar case for witches.  According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word witch first appears without any negative connotation; it's not until several centuries later that a second usage appeared that was more or less synonymous with the idea of witches we have today--devil-worshipers or evil spirits (citation as soon as I get back to the library).  Even then, the clear-cut dichotomy of magic being always evil did not exist** and in fact didn't become the majority belief until the late Middle Ages.  Before then, the belief in the supernatural other than God lived side-by-side with a deep devotion to the Church.  One need only look at Ireland as late as the first half of the twentieth century.

I have a theory that the reason why no one saw a problem with this apparent hypocrisy was because it was kept in the proper order: God was Lord.  And the other creatures or ways were rendered impotent, with the sign of the Cross or a a consecrated Host.  Dracula illustrates a superb example of the sovereignty of Christ.  Modern supernatural thrillers would be over a lot sooner if they'd just call the exorcist to bring in the Eucharist.

Vampires are another archetype enjoying a great revival at the moment.  Though as far as I know, vampires have in every time and place been on the evil spectrum of archetype, I have no problem with the modern obsession of redeeming them . . . so long as it is done believably and does not indulge in what Flannery O'Connor calls "sin against art."  I think clinging to the original archetype of the vampire as something dangerous, depraved, and hungry for redemption (John 6:54, anyone?) is what makes him so attractive to modern readers--not that the archetype is inverted so that vampires now appear good rather than bad.***  Our generation is all too familiar with the attractiveness of evil . . . aware of the that strong, thin thread of the Holy Spirit, calling us to salvation.

When I was younger, I used to believe that there were far more absolute truths than there actually are.  Absolute truths about what is beautiful and modest, what is the proper form of worship, who is in the right and wrong on particular political and philosophical issues, even absolute truths in parenting.  But experience and gentle discipline from God have taught me otherwise.

That is not to say that we shouldn't approach our reading material with caution: those with sound formation have a far greater chance for sifting the truth and beauty from the trash and poison in modern literature.  Those struggling or with young children have greater need for discernment.  But if we sweep all stories with non-evil dragons, benevolent witches, and less-than-saintly protagonists into the same off-limits categories, we risk experiencing the deepness that is the story of our Redemption.  We skip to the Resurrection at expense of the Cross.  

We must find a way to kill the weed without uprooting the flower.

------------


*  For further reading, see A Landscape with Dragons by Michael O'Brien.  (Kindle version available here.)
**  I've twelve months of post-graduate study on Arthurian literature and a Master's thesis under my belt to affirm the ambiguity of the magical figure in the Dark and Middle Ages.
***  I speak with limited knowledge on the subject, as I have not read the grandam of supernatural romance, the Twilight series.

Seven Quick Takes

May 2, Feast of St. Athanasius, bishop and doctor, who defended orthodoxy against the Arian heresy.

-- 1 --

First things first.  I've been playing a mental tug-of-war all week with the idea of "re-branding" and changing or moving this blog.  See, I want to be an author--a poet and storyteller, really.  And authors should have platforms.  And websites.

I can't afford a website, but I can lay the foundations for what will become a website in the future.  So I did.

-- 2 --

The new blog Paper & Wool, named from a post here, will, I hope, offer a lot more original content with the same spirit of Everything to Someone.  It will also give me a bit more visual creativity.  I love the format I have now, but it's almost too simple.  When I get a full website going, I'll be able to streamline the blog again.

-- 3 --

Notice that the blog url is different than the blog name.  That's where the website will (fingers crossed) come in one day.

-- 4 --

Because of this, I've let the domain name for this blog expire.  You may have noticed if you were used to typing in everything-to-someone dot com.  I'm so sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused, and hope you've been able to find me still.

The good news about that, however, is that this blog is going to remain here as a sort of archive.  'Cause I don't have the technological wherewithal to move it and because my large photographs wouldn't translate well to a new format, anyway.

-- 5 --

The move isn't going to happen until another two weeks, which I hope will give people plenty of time to subscribe to the new blog.  And do spread the word if you know or have contact with anyone else who reads this blog.  Thanks!

-- 6 --

I intend to simply change the names of my Facebook and Twitter accounts; if all goes as planned, you shouldn't have to do a thing to keep following!

-- 7 --

This is blog isn't the only thing that's changed its cover.  The 2012 Tuscany Prize for Catholic Fiction: Short Stories collection has been renamed Eyes that Pour Forth and Other Stories.

The 2013 Tuscany Prize collection is also available now: What World Is This? and Other Stories.  I'm itching to get my hands on a copy.  Maybe for my birthday?

And that was some quick takes in the truest sense!

Plans

April 28, Feast of St. Gianna Molla, who, during her third pregnancy, aware that carrying to term and delivery could  end her life, pleaded with her doctor, "If you must decided between me and the child, do not hesitate: choose the child--I insist on it.  Save him."  Eight days after the birth of her daughter, after much suffering, St. Gianna passed into the everlasting life, in the year 1962 of Our Lord--the birth year of both of my parents.

Last night, I had a dream of holding a published copy of the First Story in my hands.  It didn't look anything like the actual story, and I knew that in my dream--knew that it was wrong, that much of it had to be worked over and re-written but that it was mine and mine alone and that its complete self was somewhere inside me, finished and waiting.

I don't know how many recent readers know (hi! and thanks for following), from my casual references and thoughts tossed aside, that I started this blog as an intended author.  Many bloggers, my favorite among them, became authors secondarily.  They started their blogs and stumbled into publication, which is always a wonderful thing--one of God's and life's "Easter eggs"--surprise!  And enjoy the gooey, chocolate center!

My process is reversed.  Because my first calling is to be a writer--no, not a writer, that's not quite right.  Lots of people writing from differing skills and intentions are considered writers: journalists, journalers, bloggers, biographers, etc.  But while I like to wear the hat of a non-fiction author ("words and pictures" is the slogan of many who like to blog-as-diary), that is not what I'm about.  I'm a storyteller.  I see stories everywhere.  I need to tell them.

My fairy tale blog had become mildly successful in its small, highly specified circle, and when things got really hectic last fall, I sort of let it drift because this blog was the one that fit my needs at the time.  I need to buffer it and built it back up again.

Sometimes it's tedious looking after two blogs.  But despite how I try, I can't see a plan which would reconcile the two differing topics and demographics.  So they stay as are for now.  But I'm looking at maybe slowly moving away from the "mommy blog" atmosphere in the future. 

(Wow, that's so non-committal!)

Aspiring authors are advised to get their own websites.  I really can't afford that at this time, but the other thing that is recommended is making the authorial name a brand.  So I'm thinking of moving or re-naming Everything to Someone.  But I hate the title L.C. Ricardo, even if very few of my acquaintances would recognize that as my name.  So I could make the domain name match my author name and name the actual blog something else.  So far, that is most appealing to me.  We'll see.

What remains clear to me, at least, is that I need a continually renewed focus; that that means actively reminding myself of my goals and my vocation and then doing something tangible; making real progress, even if it's a just a bit.  Even jotting down your morning thoughts in a blog post counts for some mental filing, right?

So um, I might become very much less interesting to the non-fiction-writing-process inclined of you.  In a bit.  Because as much as I love wearing the popular social media blogger hat, I got to take it off to let my creativity get some air.  Meanwhile, please check out these friends and affiliates who have stayed the course and tackled their goals and aspirations:

Paperwine Industries  //  Bohemian, ecclectic, and repurposed things of beauty and stationary, by my dear friend's talented husband.  Let's try to convince her to get some of her pottery up there as well!  Here's one of my favorites. 

FaithHempLove  //  Sarah has treated me to lots of freebies, and let me tell you, they are ridiculously affordable.  She should probably charge more for these!  My favorite is a pumpkin spice lip balm, which I'm guessing she'll bring to sell come autumn.  It's like pure moisture in a tube!  Pure, delicious moisture.

Soul Gardening Journal  //  A Catholic journal for mothers by mothers.  Absolutely free.  Beatifully illustrated.  Inspiring.  Did I mention it's free? 

Stories 1 by Rebecca J. Thomas  //  Rebecca's short story "Birdy" was written for a contest on Spinning Straw into Gold, and gosh, you won't regret reading this one.  It's eerie in all the right places but brings you home to your warm, dry fireside at the end, like a good folktale!

And a personal publications update:

Poppy Road Review: Annual Edition, 2013  //  A pretty and quality online journal featuring a few of my poems and even one in the printed edition!  Sandy is the sweetest, least highbrow poetry editor you'll ever meet. 

Eyes That Pour Fourth and Other Stories  //  Previously titled 2012 Tuscany Prize for Catholic Fiction: Selected Short Stories, these single-sitting reads are in the tradition of Flannery O'Connor, Graham Greene, Walker Percy, and Evelyn Waugh.  So they're not sweet.  But they are gritty and real, like Christ's redemptive sacrifice on the cross.  My short story "The Debt" is in this collection. 

Rose Red Review, Spring 2014  //  Photography of mine featured here and here, and flash fiction in previous issues.  Some eerie fairy tale reads of high quality.

All purchases using Amazon Affiliate links go directly to my fresh-flowers-in-vases habit.  Thank you for your support!

A Poem for Holy Week

April 15, Tuesday of Holy Week.

The children are out of school on holiday around here, and the shiny April spring rings out with their laughter.  It's a delicate tinkling though, mostly, mingling with the sound of the river-stream, and the singing birds, and the distant calling of gulls.  The daffodil season has turned over.  Now is the time of bluebells.

There's a sort of quiet that settles on Holy Week, even when you're not looking for it.  I would say that though unconscious, the knowledge of it lingers there, in the back of your mind, except it doesn't--it's not in the mind at all, but all around, somehow.  More than anything, to me this year's Holy Week suggests rest.

I wrote a poem this evening, and Holy Week kind of runs behind it I think, like marble threaded in stone.  Or maybe not.  I'll let you decide.

A second draft:

I like to walk at evening when
today has cooled, ready to be swallowed
by tomorrow, all blue swells and valleys,
the flavor set in.   I need the clumps in me
to settle as well, like silk-rich silt
into my limbs, by skipping soles
over mud and tendons
of root-wood by the river:
the mineral smell of new grass shoots and
luscious, moist mushrooms from the morning's
breakfast--when the waking daylight hours steeled themselves
like girls gathering their skirts to cross
a terrain of potentialities.  Out of many that brush
their hems, a few will catch like burrs
on sheep's unshorn spring fleece. 

copyright L.C. Ricardo.   all rights reserved

Seven Quick Takes: Volume 31

April 4, Feast of St. Isidore, bishop and doctor; he mastered all branches of knowledge and was one of the most read scholars of the middle ages.  Brother of St. Leander and personal friend of St. Gregory the Great, he is patron of computers, computer technicians, computer users, students, and the internet.  And Everything to Someone!

-- 1 --

Today is our patron's feast day on EtS.  That gets a whole take, don't you think?  Happy Feast of St. Isidore!  (See what Pope Benedict XVI has to say about St. Isidore.)

I wanted to do a little something to celebrate around here, but I'm feeling fatigued today.  I've had some dizziness over the last week and a two nosebleeds yesterday, following the general symptoms of a bad cold the week before.  Do you think it could be an ear infection?  I've never had one before.

-- 2 --

Publications update:

• Two poems and three photographs were accepted for publication in my alma mater's literary magazine, Sandhill Review.  Unfortunately, the Sandhill is only available as a hard copy.
• Rose Red Review accepted some photographs for the spring issue which goes live on April 22.
• Other submissions still in-progress are for Fairy Tale Review, Poetry Wales, and Dappled Things.

And if I can settle down and concentrate on writing again, there are several half-finished pieces I have that might be suitable elsewhere.  (If you have a minute and you haven't already, check out my Publications page for links to previously published fiction and poetry.)

-- 3 --

I finished watching the three seasons of Portlandia available on Netflix, and the percentage of content on that show that is applicable to my life is eerie.  Seriously, have I really never been to Oregon?  Is Oregon like the Wales of the United States?  I would wear practically everything Carrie Brownstein wears on that show, except for fleece vests and hiking shorts.

Does this mean I'm a hipster?

-- 4 --

The beginning of this is especially relevant:

Re-applying for deferment yet again.  Gee, that Master's degree was so useful.

-- 5 --

Remember when education used to actually count for something?  All you needed to do was get that Bachelor's degree, and you'd be putting a down payment on your own house in a few years!  Am I the only one who thinks that spending all that time, money, and energy on education would have been better channeled toward tangible skills I could use for myself rather than a third-party company that gives me money so that I can buy those things I'd otherwise be making/using for myself?

It's funny because it's so true, and then it turns the joke on its head!  And let's be honest, that would probably be me making furniture.  :P

Also,

What?  I know it's a joke . . . maybe.

-- 6 --

Or the backup plan of everybody: let's not deny that I've thought of this many times, with an abundance of chest-heaving sighs and rose-tinted glasses.

Event-planning, delivering groceries to the elderly, landscaping, making jewelry . . . it's a good thing I'm convicted of my writing vocation and am utterly focused (ha!) because that sounds like me and my wannabe-ness to a T.  But with crocheting.

Told you Portlandia was scarily relevant.

-- 7 --

I made this little liturgical graphic for the month of April.  Basically swiped from CatholicCulture.org.  Feel free to pin and/or print.  Combine with Haley's Feast and enjoy!

Looking forward to Eastertide and a heap of liturgical goodness!  Now I'm going to go lie down and wait for the drunken feeling to subside.  In the meantime, is there anything can I can offer up for you?

See Jen for more Quick Takes!

Blogging, and a Sort-of Manifesto

Feb. 28, Feast of St. Hilary, pope from 461 to 468, and guardian of the Church against the heresy of Monophysitism.

Masha's recent post about why she blogs is, like all things M. writes, enjoyable and thought-provoking.  I'm gonna pull a Chesterton here, and rather than reply in her combox, I'm going to write her a whole post about why I blog.  I've sketched this out before on here, but my reasons are always in flux, so it's good to go over it again periodically, to take stock, to feel things out.  Sort of like how I do when I reflect on the direction of the blog itself.

I started blogging back in 2008, on Xanga, because some of my college friends were doing it.  After a while, I outstripped them in commitment, and when their accounts had long gone dead, I was still pounding away at the keyboard every day, detailing unnecessarily the ins-and-outs of my daily life.  It started as an answer to Ray Bradbury's challenge to write at least 2,000 words a day, but it became a chronicle of my life at the time and a means to shape the person I am today through discussion with and formation by like-minded people and the igniting of lifelong friendships.  It also got me in trouble on more than one occasion, for I was eager and honest and loud-mouthed, an idealist who tended to want to pin down "the right answer" to every riddle life presented; that's a fault I'm still struggling with, I'm afraid.

I fell out of Xanga after I graduated college, and gave it up altogether when I went to grad school.  Then in 2012, I attended the Catholic Writers Conference online and started to learn about all these things people were expected to do if they wanted to become published authors.  One of those things was to start a blog.  At the time, I didn't realize that it was meant for the blog to tailor to the exact topic of the would-be published novel, so I started a general lifestyle blog, under the loose genre of "mommy blog," with heavy Catholic and literary tendencies.  I read up on how to run a successful blog and how to gain a following.  I became an avid reader of other lifestyle/mommy/Catholic/literary blogs.

It wasn't difficult to get back into blogging.  I like to write; writing is how I think and how I make connections.  Hence why the ideal academic pursuit for this girl is to write long, rambling theses on the hows and wherefores of things other people have already written.  I love it.  This time, however, because I was not limited to Xanga, I found an even more like-minded community to socialize with on the net.  Enter a period of booming internet activity.

Now, writing is my first love, and it's also, I believe, with the unquestionable belief of one who has questioned it for too long, what I was made for.  Think of Jonah in the whale, and that's a slightly less troublesome experience than what I've been through to get to this point of acceptance.  But just because it's my vocation (other than motherhood, obviously) doesn't mean that it's going to be easy.  Our circumstances were such that I didn't have the luxury of pursuing writing as a full-time career because I had to have a way to support myself and my family.  All Jonah had to do was agree to be God's messenger, and the whale spit him out.  Me, I couldn't live to obey God's will in the first place if I didn't attempt an income.

So, think I, wouldn't it be nice if somehow the two things could be combined?  I look around and notice that businesses have spontaneously emerged from successful, casual blogs.  There are even those who have gone on to publish books, when publishing a book was never their goal in blogging to begin with.  And thus my dilemma: why do I blog?  I know I blog because I love it; I love writing, I love sharing, and I love the growth and learning that comes from it.  But I can't really blog like I want to (or get on with that first novel, for that matter), if I have financial needs to consider.

It puts me in a weird position: I'd like to make money blogging, even a little, and then eventually have that filter out into publication.  But I can't shake the residual feeling that I'm somehow prostituting myself and my talents if I ask for money for it; even if I was going to be doing it anyway, maybe especially if.

The good thing about our upcoming move is that I don't need to work to get by; I've gone back and forth with myself and others about the wholesomeness of depending on the UK welfare state, but the fact of the matter is that nothing can be done about it, so why torment myself?  In the meantime, I have a good year or so that I will legally not be allowed to work and still won't have to worry about feeding my family or keeping a roof over our heads.  And things have come together in such a way around here that, even if I hadn't been leaving, the jobs I was working would have come to an end pretty soon.

I think the final moment of decision for me was, when looking up an author about a six months back, I came upon a bit of biography that told how, during a time of extreme trial in her life, she resolved to live off of government benefits for a time so that she could write her story; a story that had been wanting to be born for a while, and which, she felt, would never get the chance to live if she didn't write it now.

That author was J.K. Rowling.  That story was Harry Potter.

Ultimately, the reason why I blog is this: I have stories to tell.  Whether they are stories of daily events, the beauty of the Faith, experiences I want to share in hopes of helping others, or the more sacramental stories, the fairy tales--the ones that take form in the deepest part of my psyche, the imagination, that is most like God.

Readers, thank you for sharing this journey with me.  Thank you for your prayers.  Thank you to those (you know who you are) who have given financially to ease my earthly burdens.  It occurs to me that prayers are certainly no less essential than money; and if I'm not ashamed to ask for prayers, why should I be ashamed to offer a service or skill in exchange for a fair income?  I'm still working it out as to how exactly I want to go about doing this, if indeed I still do--since, like I said, at least for a period of time, I'll not have to worry about making a living.  But I can't rely on that lasting forever, nor should I.

Still, if it were up to me, I would write and write and never ask for anything in return; because being able to write is itself such a privilege, and a gift I'll never stop thanking God for.

Why do you blog?  What keeps you blogging?  If you're a blogger who makes money with your blog, how did you come to the decision to monetize it?  Do you have any advice for the rest of us?

------------

If you liked reading this, try these posts as well:

Conscientious Blogging  //  The More Things Change. . .  //  10 Tips to Getting Noticed in a Link-Up  //  Blogging as Community  //  Getting Back into Rhythm

2013

Dec. 30, the Sixth Day of Christmas.

I worked a full day today.  It's an odd thing, rising in the dark and going about your business as the sun lumbers its path, and then returning home just as the blueing sky returns to darkness.  The world seems small somehow, more self-contained.  Your life is suddenly book-ended by night.  And the funny little things we do so importantly in the day feel prim and trite.  Where did the light go?  I saw it come and leave, almost in one breath; one puff.

Out, out--!

So too the year's snuffed.  Unlike 2012, where my accomplishments were tangible and/or large enough to be accounted for--moving into our own apartment, setting up house; writing the first draft of the Story, noted for the Tuscany Prize; gathering a small but (in my opinion) impressive group of followers over on Spinning Straw into Gold and laying the foundations for titanic and life-long friendships--2013's have been more subtle, internal.  But the internal changes are the most lasting, aren't they?  I've come a long way, I think, in a year.  I've got stronger, learned some things about myself and loved ones.  Juggled a demanding part-time job with child-rearing, housekeeping, and bill-paying.  Been held by others at my weakest and held others up in my strength.  Been less defensive, asserted a little more.  And, more than ever, it's become clear to me where and how I want to continue on my road.  Life gets more and more pointed; doors close; the way is whittled down until it is one small twig and only two things remain, to go the direction in which it is pointing or not:

"The issue is now clear.  It is between darkness and light, and everyone must choose his side."  G.K.C.'s last words.

I don't think God gives us dreams for them to stay dreams.  We choose the darkness when we cling to them and horde them, instead of offering them up to Him, where He can cup them in His mighty hands and breathe life into them.  It takes quite a bit of faith to hand over those fragile dreams.  But I have to believe that God wants for us what is good.  He wants for us what we want, if what we want is pure and true to ourselves, and not a distortion of that first thrill in childhood, corrupted by the world's faithless hands.

This year, I'm going to continue working on the Story.  I won't say I'll finish it because a thing like this is furtive and doesn't do well under direct pressure.  It has to be coaxed, loved into being.  I'm going to pray more.  I mean really pray.  I want to stay off the computer and the internet and read more, walk more in the open air.  To take exercise, as long as the reason for it is anything other than to take exercise--what a terrible reason!  No wonder I hate it.  One should run because one loves the thrill of running, the pounding of feet and the sweet burning of the lungs; one should swim because one wants to beat the waves like a primal being; and one should kick or swing or hit or dunk a ball because it is Such Fun to put a ball into a target, to say, with the angels, "And do this!" and to watch it happen!  I want to care less about if I'm pleasing others and more about if I'm pleasing God, and myself.  I want to form my son, in mind, body, and spirit, so that at my end, despite my own pitiful failings, I will be able to point to this one good thing and say, "God, he is Yours."  I want to make things with my own hands; this secondarily to the writing, but when the choice is between consuming or producing, I hope to chose to make; unless I am in need of rest, and even then, there is prayer.

I want to do all these things as if there's no time in the world and all the time in the world--each new thing with urgency, frivolity, intensity, and attention.

------------

Tomorrow I'm going to post 13 pictures from 2013 that tell the story, in one way or another, of my year; no words allowed.  I used to do these "little stories" more often but have been so busy of late (and often ill).  That's another resolution: to post more wordless stories to this blog, to be aware of the daily stories I live and to appreciate them enough to capture them on camera.  After all, writing words are second nature to me; and it pays to get a little out of one's comfort zone from time to time.

Won't you join me?

Seven Quick Takes: Volume ??? (Let me get back to you.)

Joining Jen at Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes Friday.

-- 1 --

So.  I disappeared for about a week there because MY AIR CONDITIONING BROKE.  You have to understand.  September is virtually still summer where I am, and it was worse inside than out, in an apartment that has no fans and only one tiny window that opens in the back room.  Like trying to breath and move in fudge that's just come out of the oven.

We took refuge at my parents' house for most of the week, which would have been fine and dandy if it hadn't been for the fact that. . .

-- 2 --

I started my brand new job this week!  Even though we were headquartered at my parents' house (with frequent trips home to restock on vitamins and changes of clothing), it was worth it to receive this opportunity.  I am now part-time secretary (read: Jack-of-all-trades) at a small Catholic childcare center in small Catholic community outside of the slightly larger Catholic community in which I grew up.  Daily responsibilities include writing creative ads for bulletins, polishing up the website and Facebook page, making pretty fliers for book sales and fundraisers, answering the telephone, and occasionally holding babies.  You know, the pits.  c;

I'm still working at the grocery store on Saturdays, to keep the much-needed income . . . well, coming in.

-- 3 --

Because I'm working at a childcare center, it only makes sense to take the Squirt along with me.  So he's going to be getting toddler-interaction on a regular basis now, with a lovely employee discount (totally free once DCF plucks me off the waiting list).

I also think it will be good for him to be under the care of a non-sentimental adult authority figure.  You know, to reinforce the behavior he's learning at home outside of the home.

-- 4 --

That means Sundays will be my only "off" days.  Friends, take note!

Having Sundays free regularly is a change of pace around here.  Usually, I'm having to squeeze in Mass between a late Saturday schedule and noon Sunday.

I've started walking over to the Episcopalian church the next block over to take the Squirt to the nursery.  I know the woman who watches the kids, and the church's secretary works with me at the store.  After that, it's an quick walk to the local Catholic parish for 11 o'clock Mass.  It's not our home parish, but I like that I don't have to load everyone into the car; and the Squirt and I can take our time enjoying a Sunday morning stroll, while I point out nature.

-- 5 --

I intend to carry on full-speed ahead with the Harry Potter book club (dubbed Harry Potter Project on Spinning Straw into Gold) and will try my best to continue to write timely posts.  (I'm failing already!)

About two weeks ago, we had our first live Harry Potter book club meeting in a small natural food store while Jenna was down visiting with her grandmother.  Masha joined us via Skype.  The other patrons probably gave sideways glances when I announced that out loud, but I! Just! Don't! Care!  It was that awesome.

We can confirm that Jenna is a flesh-and-blood person.  Jury is still out on Masha.  c;

-- 6 --

All this on- and off-the-clock activity does not bode well for my writing.  While I am a little grieved at that, in over the summer I've solidified the knowledge that my storyteller track is one for the long run.  And I'm okay with that.  I'd rather take a long time doing something, and do it right (or at least well).

And who knows?  Maybe I will find myself in a cottage in north Wales, my husband playing with our son in the garden, me pregnant with our second (of many?), and writing by the open window in the quiet evening with a hot cuppa after supper, this time next autumn.

Only probably much louder and messier.

In the meanwhile, I've a poem in the newest issue of Dappled Things and one in Goblin Fruit, with a recording of me reciting it.  Goblin Fruit is great fun for the imagination, visibly beautiful, and in harmony with the seasons, but their poems tend to the more fantastical and hard-to-interpret.

These may be the last publications for a while.  We'll see.  As others have noted, autumn tends to be a writing time

-- 7 --

Speaking of seasons, I've had it on my heart for a good while now to order our lives toward the seasons, both literal and liturgical.  I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to do that.  For one, the seasons are subtle here, and while beautiful in their own way, I'm an Anglophile raised in the mid-west.  I want my stark fall, winter, spring, and summer.  For another, I wasn't raised steeped in Catholic culture until I was an adolescent, and even then it was only a Sunday and praying-before-meals thing.  I crave the monastic rhythm of the middle ages, the liturgy laced inseparably with the harvest cycle, like bone and muscle.  But how does one incorporate that in an age that is so detached?

And how does one do that working almost thirty hours a week, and keeping house and making healthful meals, and raising a two-year-old?

Five Favorites (vol. 20)

(1) Gilbert Magazine, (2) Dappled Things, (3) StAR, (4) oh comely, (5) Soul Gardening

This week I want to share my five favorite traditional publications.  The digital word is convenient and nice for bridging gaps of geography to bring people together, but I believe in black print on paper and the feeling of a cover v'd between your hands.

Most likely, I have listed the quirky British lifestyle/artsy/creative magazine as one of my favorites before, but this is a new grouping, and so I feel obliged to include it.  Also, I couldn't think of a fifth traditional publication for which I anxiously check my mailbox every day when I know that it's that time of the month/season/year!

I know I've included Soul Gardening previously.  And so what?  It stands on its own merit as a favorite outside of printed paper!

Next week, I'm going to do my five favorite online publications.

-- 1 --

Named for the infamous G.K. Chesterton, who gave this blog its name and whom I consider my spiritual teacher and father, patron saint, and favorite writer.  Gilbert is intelligent without being dense and has much to offer even those who are not fans of Chesterton.  Among its readers are multitudes of Catholics, many Christians, some Jews, and at least one Muslim (stats quoted by memory from one of the GM's past articles, so don't hold me to it--they may have changed by now).

My favorite returning articles are the editorial by Dale Ahlquist, president of the American Chesterton Society; "The Signature of Man," a column that is a re-print of some commentary of GK's on art of his day, which is, as in all of his writing, eerily appropriate to modern times; and "News with Views," little snippets of real news events that highlight the absurdity of modern culture--chances are, you won't find reports on these sometimes-outrageous-sometimes-astounding happenings anywhere else, unless you are deliberately looking for them.

Gilbert Magazine is about 1/3 Chestertonian learning, 1/3 cultural and literary reflection and discussion, and 1/3 innocent fun--if for nothing else, pick up a copy of one for its delightful illustrations!

-- 2 --

This pristine periodical is the Catholic literary magazine in English which, if it had appeared in her day, would have certainly made Flannery O'Connor cry with joy.  Dappled Things' standards are impeccable and never have I seen it to sacrifice quality art for religious sentimentalism.  Its genres are fiction, essays, and poetry, spanning the rigid but triumphant traditional forms to the languid modernity of free verse.  Every university and seminary needs a subscription.

--3--

Saint Austen Review takes a scholarly eye to Catholic culture with regard to art and literature.  It's like if Gilbert and Dappled Things got married and had a baby, and StAR was it.  Love this one!  As in DT, don't expect fluff and ginger, nicey-nice treatment.  They mean to keep Catholic art art and judge accordingly; as O'Connor said,

. . . the chief difference between a novelist who is an orthodox Christian and the novelist who is merely a naturalist is that the Christian novelist lives in a larger universe.  He believes that the natural world contains the supernatural.  And this doesn’t mean that his obligation to portray the natural is less; it means it is greater.

--4--

From made-up covers of penny dreadful novels to an interview with the roller derby queen of England, sometimes the frivolous can be good for the soul; I mean, delighting in the daily things--in mismatched buttons, scribbling self-portraits, and making your own pasta-- is far less shallow than what we find in fashion mags and gossip columns.  oh comely is that kind of read.

Oh and the tagline: "Keep your curiosity sacred."

!!!  <3

The sparse and lovely photographs aren't bad either.  c;

--5--

I can't say enough how much of a delight this little magazine is to me!  In some ways, I'm too artsy and flower-child for a devout Catholic crowd; in others, I'm too dogmatic and orthodox for a the poet-types (which accounts for the somewhat schizophrenic nature of this blog).  Soul Gardening is a perfect marriage of both.  With little reflections and tips and rhymes that bring together Catholic mothers who value classical education, the natural world, and the importance of beauty, with icon-like, folksy black-and-white illustrations, this one needs to find its way into the hands of every Catholic woman looking for a way to add dimension and quiet communion to the daily drudge.  Thank you Mary, Ursula, Sia, and Ellie!

It's also completely free.



So what are you favorite printed publications?  First Things get your philosophy and politics ticking?  Simple Things magazine lift you up with its light-as-air advice and content?  I'm always looking for great new reads.

Seven Quick Takes: Volume 22

Tuscany Press Edition & Giveaway

Linking up with Conversion Diary for this week's 7 Quick Takes Friday.

-- 1 --

Tuscany Press is accepting manuscripts for the 2013 Tuscany Prize for Catholic Fiction.  Genres include novels, novellas, short stories,and young adult novels.  If you've got a manuscript lying around, or one that needs just a bit more polish, send it on over.  If they like your work, they might offer you a publication contract aside from the Tuscany Prize.  So even if it's not 100% ready for submission, you might be letting the right people know that you have a skill and to expect more from you in the future.

-- 2 --

They've recently put up an author's page so you can get to know the people behind the award-winning fiction.  We range from all over the country (and out!) and vary in race, gender, age, and ethnicity; but the one thing we have in common is a Catholic vision of art and literature.  Some of them have links to blogs and such, so you can even get in contact.

-- 3 --

And here's a comprehensive essay addressing what is Catholic fiction?  We may be inclined to think Catholic fiction requires convents and rosaries, or indiscreet moral stands such as the writings of Michael O'Brien and Regina Doman (both good authors), but the category is actually much wider.

-- 4 --

The founders are looking for ways to promote Tuscany Press and her sister projects CatholicFiction.net and CatholicInk.com, so if you work with or for a university, library, Catholic parish, or other organization that you think would benefit from an event with Tuscany Press, get in contact.  Or you can let me know, and I can contact them for you.

-- 5 --

Tuscany Press has ties with the prestigious Catholic literary magazine Dappled Things.  Some of the authors for Tuscany have also published in Dappled Things, and the editor of Tuscany Press, Joe O'Brian, is active with DP as well.  So this is a strong and growing Catholic sub-culture, with truth and beauty as its aim, but not at the expense of art.  See Pope John Paul II's Letter to Artists.

-- 6 --

Tuscany Press is currently looking for a freelance Fiction Substantive/Line Editor.  Requirements include:

1.) Experience with Book publishing  

2.) Experience with Substantive/line editing

a.) analyze the manuscript 

b.) Work in the manuscript 

c.) Address issues:

i.) Story Arc 

ii.) Character Development

iii.) Chaptering and pacing 

iv.) Transitions 

v.) Fictional Dream Issues 

vi.) Beginning, Middle and end 

3.) Knowledge of John Gardner and the Fictional Dream – also The Art of Fiction 

4.) Know of Flannery O’Connor and Mystery and Manners

Do you know of anyone who needs work or is interested?  I assume at this stage that they're going to prefer a practicing Catholic, but I don't actually know.

-- 7 --

I'm giving away my copy of 2012 Tuscany Prize for Catholic Fiction: Collected Short Stories.  Want to be eligible?  Here's what you have to do:

• comment on this post saying that you'd like to be included for the random drawing
• in the following week, write a brief post or paragraph advertising Tuscany Press on your blog/Twitter/Facebook/internet platform to help support its mission and get the word out

That's it!  I'll sign and address the book however and to whomever you want!  Okay?  Okay!  Thanks so much ahead of time for participating.

6/1

"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2013." 

This boy loves nothing more than to be outside, rain or shine.  His speech is increasing, in fluency, if not in clarity, and he reads his books out loud to himself.  I'm scrabbling to keep him entertained inside.  I'm miserable in the humidity.  My soul was bred for cooler climes.

We've been talking about ghosts, magic, and holy superstition, and as the year climbs toward the summer solstice, I feel a familiar restlessness.  It's a frequent and re-occuring visitor in my life.  I think if let my feet walk where they would, they'd take me straight to the sea.  Maybe this is a sign I'll start writing again soon; like the itching of a scab beneath which new, pink skin grows.  A poem of mine was accepted into Dappled Things, and one is due to come out in Goblin Fruit late this summer.

Today, the storm broke and hacked at lush earth like blades.

Seven Quick Takes: Volume 16

-- 1 --

Look!  I executed a mildly successful non-recipe on Wednesday, and it was yummy!

Egg rolls.  I think.  Here's the quick version.

Instructions for cooking come right on the Nasoya package.  You can fancy it up by adding sauteed pork, peanut sauce, and sprouts; or even go southwestern with black beans, rice, and cheese.

Out of a super-neat coincidence, I found a similar simple meal idea on Romancing Reilly.  Yum!

-- 2 --

I got the paper copy books in the mail last week, three total.  One is being reviewed by my parish priest so he can approve it for Mary's Cova, our flourishing little library.  So I have two left.  I'm pretty sure I want to keep one for reference purposes, but the other I've considered making my first Everything to Someone giveaway!

So what's gonna happen is that I'm gonna talk about it for a little while to build up awareness and then probably do a random drawing thing.  2012 Tuscany Prize for Catholic Fiction Collected Short Stories: it could be yours!  Stay tuned, folks.

-- 3 --

It's time to "come out of the closet."  I'm participating in April's CampNaNoWriMo, which is super silly because I have way more important things I should be doing, not least of which is editing and drafting the second version of the First Story, which has been kicking up its heels and being difficult lately.

I've gained a new exhilaration in novel free-writing that suffers from the restraints and discipline of editing; and I think when I come back to the First Story, it will be with a rested muse.  At least that's my hope.

On the other hand, blog talks with the astute Jenna have made me look at novel-writing as a career in a different way, and I think it couldn't be a bad thing to get a few embryonic novels under my belt to have, maybe even for self-publishing, if attempts at publishing the First Story don't go as hoped/planned.

Talking with Jenna has helped loosen me to feeling less snobby about the subjects I write, and trust that the organicness of my faith and love for real literature will find its way in, even in a less poured-over endeavor.  If I hope to make a somewhat viable income as an author some day, I've read enough about the industry to know that quality over quantity is actually the way to go.  Weird, innit?

You can donate too, and I signed up for my own page, goal $150 in fundraising; in case people were more inclined to help if it were connected to someone the actually knew.  I try to be a good citizen.  c;

-- 4 --

I joined my college friends last night for a showing of their original 30-minute film Cakewalk.  These were the friends that graciously suffered me to put my silly face in the college campus movies they made back-in-the-day, which mostly consisted of slightly absurd philosophical musings, parodies of friends, bad accents, and sing-alongs.  Oh, but those were good times!

So proud of them; even prouder to say that theirs was the best film at the showing: subtlety yet humorously written, positive without being hoaky or preachy.  Well acted, filmed, written, edited, and directed.  Appropriate for the whole family but sympathetic to adults, especially parents!  Only more good things to come from them.  And if you're in the central Florida area and have a skill, it's a rewarding hobby to get into, and the arts are more-than-suffering these days, so contact them at The Hippo Critics if you'd like to get involved.

I know, my friends are kinda awesome.  Don't be jealous.  c;

-- 5 --

Out of nowhere, this local company that I adore is hiring.  I'm applying for a full-time position as Client Relations Coordinator.  Not only would this take the strain off of us financially, I know I would love and thrive at this job.  Really.

So call every saint and praying person you know and get them to offer up for me that my sincerity and enthusiasm is clear in my application, and interview, if I am offered one.

-- 6 --

As Grace and Simon were googling "what should I do if my kid pooped in the bathtub," I google searched "how to clean poop out of carpet," and got this.  Apparently, this is a googled enough topic to merit its own wordpress page.

Oh yes, yes it is.  This happened to me not once yesterday, but twice.  The Squirt had been coming to me and asking to change his diaper over the past couple of weeks, then transitioning to taking it off himself and sending me after it.  Now he's just free-stylin' it.  He's clearly ready for potty training, though when I sat him on the big boy potty, he wasn't sure how to go about it.  Then, last night, my mom sat him on the toilet and told him to "go," and he squeezed out five little drops!!!!

He got huge applause AND a cookie.

-- 7 --

My friend Caitlin shared with me this delightful event called The Faerie Folk Festival.  Her library is participating by building a little fairy library!  Alas, it's in New Hampshire.  (More proof that I'm really too close to the southern hemisphere for someone with my hobbies, interests, aversion to heat, and taste in seasons.)

---

Now I'm off to perfect my resume; see more Quick Takes this week at Camp Patton.