Facebook: You're Just Doing It Wrong

Person A told Person B that Person C hadn't been commenting on Person B's Facebook photos and status lately, and was Person C mad at Person B?  Person  B hadn't even thought about it, but went to Person C and asked if she was mad.  No, said Person C, just haven't been on Facebook a lot lately.*

If you followed that, then hang on for a bit more while I exclaim how utterly ridiculous this modern weight in Facebook activity is.  Facebook is a social tool.  That's it.  It's not the essence or apex of relationships.  And when people start to evaluate their friendships and self-worth by how many likes and comments they get, then something has gone wrong, like Picasso-eyes-and-nose-switched-up wrong.  We're viewing relationships out of a completely distorted lens.  We're mistaking the symptoms for the cause.

I hate that we've become so Facebook dependent these days.  It can be a God-given tool for communicating and keeping friendships well-tended, but Facebook itself isn't the friendship.  When you don't know how to interact with each other, or merit all your activities by how often other people click buttons on the other side of the computer screen, then it's time to log off and meet someone for coffee.  You're just doing it wrong.

What do you think?  How has social media enriched or enslaved your life?  Have any other ridiculous Facebook stories to share?

* Disclaimer:  this did not happen to me.



  1. It's draining isn't it..I might take a vacation from facebook in August..for now though, I'm too busy making trouble on your page ;)

    I'm kind of neglecting my own Life On Facebook as it is..too many things to deal with at once. I think it's fun, but it isn't the sort of place to be if you take yourself too seriously (which I've been doing a lot recently), or if you don't like disagreements/arguments with strangers/finding out things you never wanted to know about friends..I don't hide a status I disagree with, unless it touches a nerve I know I can't handle (I do not have the emotional reserves to deal with abortion talk!), and while it takes a lot for me to unfriend someone because of differing opinions or lots of arguments, I dump "facebook friends" who aren't actually friends all the time..and I never let people I don't really like 'friend' me, unless they're related ;p

    I also think there are some people who just shouldn't be on facebook. They don't deal well with that sort of socialization, they're like the facebook version of that person who goes to a club and hangs out in that back corner smoking ALL her cigarettes waiting for the night to be over and then stands in line for the 'fortune teller' just to kill time after she runs out of cigarettes because It's So Completely Not Her Scene..You know, right?? ;)

    1. Yeah, I've gone back and forth about taking a Facebook fast, too. There's always a danger of miscommunication on the internet, especially when folks are throwing memes around and don't have to look each other in the eyes when they respond.

      This post was actually written weeks ago, but it's pretty relevant given my Facebook rage (I'm calling this a new thing--it's like road rage). But yeah, super sensitive plus super convicted people like me have to be oh-so-careful about choosing who and what to engage in a debate. (Part of my hurt with the friend recently was his reaction to something I said in friendly terms a few months back. . . he definitely flew off the handle--it was not "in the spirit of free debate" as he said, though he may think otherwise, and I felt betrayed because I had previously seen him as a "safe" person to engage in discussion with. I should have let him know privately, however, that he had hurt my feelings.)

      I turn down a lot of random friend requests, too, from people whom I've met once or twice or who know me through a mutual friend.

      The abortion comments upset me so much, though, fortunately I don't have a lot of Facebook friends that are very verbal regarding that, or I'd probably have to unfriend them/leave Facebook.

  2. Amen Amen AMEN! So glad you wrote this :) I feel the same way, especially about Facebook--so much so that I actually deleted my account months ago. I think a lot of social media can spiral out of control, even blogging. People can end up basing entire relationships off of how close they are over Facebook, and I also feel like, people are either on there bragging about something or complaining about something. The authenticity is just lost in this sea of competition, status, popularity, etc.

    1. I'm wondering if I should delete my account. I'm hesitant because it would mean losing a convenient way to connect with people, but then I think, if I have to make the effort to keep in touch, the people who are truly important to me won't go neglected.

      Oh my gosh, I know just what you mean about authenticity. I also have to scratch my head at the mundane daily updates: "2:30 just finished the laundry!" and "2:53 oh my gosh, my cat is staring at something outside of the window!"

      Really? c;


Leave me a comment! Don't be shy!